Blue Pigs

When my nephew Joel was four, he was conversing with some dear family friends about a stuffed pig that his mother owned (as in stuffed animal, not taxidermy). Joel was pretty excited about this pig and told all about where it sat in their home, how big it was, where his mom got it etc, etc, etc.

As any adult, wanting to enter into a child’s world in conversation, one of my friends asked a question that he thought was pretty straightforward, “What color is the pig”? Joel stopped dead in his tracks and looked at them both incredulously, as if to say, “Really, you are adults and you don’t know what color a pig is??!! Shouldn’t you know this by now???!!!!” Nevertheless, he condescended to answer them with the obvious. “It’s a pig. It’s blue”.

Needless to say, none of the adults in the room did a good job covering their shock, or laughter, at his reply. Mostly because it was delivered with such disdain for having to say what, to his mind, should have been apparent to any thinking person. I am happy to report that, not long after that episode, Joel came to discover that unless something is horribly wrong, pigs are not, in fact, blue. That has not, however, stopped those friends from gifting him, now in his twenties, a small, yet diverse, collection of blue pigs.

Whereas I love the fact that they give Joel those little reminders, and hope they never stop, I recently felt the Lord start speaking to me about relational “blue pigs” that I sometimes give to people. Let me explain by unfolding some of the thoughts that have been stirring in me.

Being in close relationship with people over an extended period of time can cause an insensitivity and lack of recognition for all the ways that they have changed and grown. Familiarity can promote an environment that makes it easy for us to keep them “in a box” that doesn’t acknowledge that they are being “changed from glory to glory”.

For instance, a situation arises and we anticipate that because we “know someone so well" we can predict exactly how they are going to respond. We present the situation to them and before they utter a word in reply, our thoughts or worse yet our words, have jumped to disappointment, frustration, or anger because we “know” how they are going react. We have just given them a “blue pig”--a reminder of a time (or many times) when they acted out of a place that lacked understanding, knowledge, or maturity in a certain area.

What I am currently thinking is that forecasting hurt or disappointment because we “know someone so well” is potentially a masquerade for lack of forgiveness for previous wrongs suffered. Maybe it is a red flag that there are unresolved issues that need to be worked through in humility, honesty and grace. Or it may be just plain, old, garden variety judgment because we think they should be past believing that pigs are blue. And here is where we really need discernment: sometimes our disappointment has nothing to do with the immaturity of others, but instead with their lack of compliance with our preferences.

Maybe those closest to us would blossom into maturity more rapidly if instead of reminders of past immaturity, our love for them was more often marked by the characteristics outlined in I Cor 13:7. “Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances and it endures everything”.

I am not suggesting being naïve about areas of immaturity that still exist. Pain caused by immaturity is pain nevertheless. (Ever had a small child jump on you?) And perhaps it is time (or past time) to have a loving, yet pointed conversation that pigs are not blue. What I am saying, however, is if we leave room to for God to do His transforming work in the lives of those we love, and live in expectation of His faithfulness in that regard, we may find ourselves exchanging the blue pigs that we used to give, for thoughts and words filled with life and hope.

-brenda