the journey of unknowables

"If knowing answers to life's questions is absolutely necessary to you, then forget the journey. You will never make it, for this is a journey of unknowables, or unanswered questions, engimas, incomprehensibles, and most of all things unfair" Madame Jeanne Guyon quote from Amazing Collections.

In the Women's Bible Study I attend, I had the pleasure to study the book of Job.  Not the most exciting book to read but very eye opening.   During the book study I came across the quote above and just loved it. The Christian life is truly a journey. There are highs, and lows, twists and turns, screeching halts and pressing of the gas pedal.  It is a journey that I think if we knew what we would face along the way, we would not have chosen that path.  But once at the end of the path we look back see that we are stronger, faster, more secure, more loving, humble and may I say refined.  As I studied the book of Job, I could not help but think back on my "Job-like" times in my life.  I think back to when I was in 4th grade and I could not figure out why I was so stupid. I think about in high school when at cheerleading camp, four girls tried out to cheer at the Macy's Day parade and only three got it, I was the fourth girl. I think back to college, falling in love and planning a future with someone who in the end, told me I just wasn't good enough or godly enough for him and broke up with me...in an email.  I then think about being on church staff for the first time and being hit on by the minister that was supposed to be mentoring me.  I think about December 2004 when my family's world was rocked with the most heart wrenching, faith challenging time in our lives, when God chose to take Tucker home to be with Him.  Then most recently, I think about the year and half we struggled to concieve a child, the weeks on bed rest and the two months our precious baby being in the NICU.  Would I have chosen those paths?  Absolutely not!  Am I glad I took these paths?  Yes.

sweet ava, now 3

abbey, ava and adam

Yet, I am lucky. God has shown me a glimpse of His plan in allowing me to see why I had to go through these struggles. Because I had a learning disability in fourth grade, it made me a more patient and understanding teacher. As for the Macy's Day parade, that year New York had a record snow, on the day of the parade. brrrrrrrrrrr! Why did that guy I was so in love with not want me? Because God had already created and was preparing the most wonderful man in the world for me to marry and be the father of my child. (I love you Adam). Just recently, a friend of mine had a miscarraige and I was able to both sympathize and empathize with her. And just this past Thursday God gave me a glimpse of why I had to endure infertility: a lady in my Bible study has a daughter who is my age and is experiencing a similar situation as I did. Will we ever truly know why God gives us trials and tribulations? I don't know. What I do know is that "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked will I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord."

abbey

This week's guest writer is Abbey Cooler.  Abbey was a college acquaintance turned Senior year prayer partner.  Wife to Adam.  Mom to Ava and Baby "A."  Seminary grad.  Former Gardner-Webb cheerleader.  Sandi Patty wannabe.  (She can do a lot, but she CANNOT sing.)  Thanks for sharing, Abs!