To Struggle

The hard outer shell is cracked around the upper circumference of the egg.

Then there is movement beneath the thin membrane.


Suddenly we see a small damp face breaking through.

Then with a quick push, a chick emerges, head, feet, and body.

Before long it gets its feet under it and fluffs up a bit.

And I sit and wonder, "Is the chick like a butterfly or moth?  Does it have to struggle in order to live as it was intended?  Must it break through the hard parts on its own to survive thrive?  Is the struggle a vital part of life?"

There are men who struggle for a day and they are good.
There are men who struggle for a year and they are better.
There are men who struggle for many years, and they are better still.
But there are those who struggle all their lives.
These are the indispensable ones.  
From the song "In Praise of Fighting" from The Mother by Bertolt Brecht

If I'm completely honest, I don't like to struggle.  I actually avoid it when I can, but the thing about life is, that it's filled with struggle.

During the past couple of months, I've been reminded of this over and over.  Reminded as I read the autobiography of a woman named Malalai Joya.  Reminded as my mother-in-law endured a lumpectomy and radiation therapy.  Reminded as my husband works to build his own business.  Reminded as I tend to the daily needs of my household and four children.  Reminded as a friend deals with her ex-husband.

We all must struggle.  And once we are free, living "outside the shell", it takes time to adjust to the new reality.   The chick never looked back at its old shell.  It didn't try to climb back inside what had once been comfortable.  It did make quite a lot of noise on the outside, as though cheering for those chicks that were still pecking on the insides of their shells.

As I observe, I see this truth, and I pray that I will struggle with grace and truly be content, no matter the circumstances.  I pray that I will have the strength do to my working out while another works within.  And I pray, that in the places that I know freedom, I will call back encouragement, not judgment, to those still behind the hardness of a shell that contains them.

lorie

I met  Lorie Park in Gainesville, FL.  Five of us girls signed up to participate in a ministry called "Apples of Gold."  We were all relatively new to the area, had no friends and were struggling to find a place.  What a life long bond we made.  Lorie is eloquent, funny and a hardcore sarcastic girl in the shell of a sweet, loving, missionary-type.  Homeschool mom, Dentist wife, care taker of many...

expressions of a 9 month old

happy girl; complete with chin dribble

this is my wink

and i clap

the birdie

i'm done because...

i'm tired

why am i so excited?

because i'm riding a vacuum cleaner!

the professional chin tilt

backward wave

and i'm out.

jill

HUNGER PAINS

a couple of weeks ago a friend posted on a facebook group that she saw a tweet from Oprah that made her stop and think... "until you can be thankful for something that is not enough then what you have cannot be multiplied into more than enough (BishopJakes)" she then challenged us to list something that was a blessing to us, but something that was out of the ordinary, different from the norm.


after thinking for a couple of days i became starkly aware of my hunger pains.

i am thankful for hunger pains... the kind you get when you are so hungry it hurts and you are starting to feel sick and then food enters your system and you can feel the life seeping back into you. hunger pains. 

when you are made aware of the fact that you are lacking so when you are filled life is breathed into you. hunger pains. 

like when you move to a new place and for three years you pray for women who you can live in real authentic community with to surround you, who will regularly interrupt their lives for you and you them, and after three long years the LORD grants your request. then you are filled and life is... so full... hunger pains.

like when you search desperately for a job to provide for your family, and it takes a long time... much, much longer than you ever expected... and you almost give up and try something else... but then, the phone call comes and you are in. hired. and blessing after blessing after blessing comes. hunger pains.

when you feel like GOD is so... far... away... and who are you that He would listen to you anyways... but still you cry out to Him. and HE IS FAITHFUL!!!! hunger pains.

i am thankful for the hunger pains because i know now what a blessing it is to be full. SO FULL!!!!

may you recognize your hunger pains so you may be fully aware of your fullness! and praise the LORD in his faithfulness!

-tiffany

the journey of unknowables

"If knowing answers to life's questions is absolutely necessary to you, then forget the journey. You will never make it, for this is a journey of unknowables, or unanswered questions, engimas, incomprehensibles, and most of all things unfair" Madame Jeanne Guyon quote from Amazing Collections.

In the Women's Bible Study I attend, I had the pleasure to study the book of Job.  Not the most exciting book to read but very eye opening.   During the book study I came across the quote above and just loved it. The Christian life is truly a journey. There are highs, and lows, twists and turns, screeching halts and pressing of the gas pedal.  It is a journey that I think if we knew what we would face along the way, we would not have chosen that path.  But once at the end of the path we look back see that we are stronger, faster, more secure, more loving, humble and may I say refined.  As I studied the book of Job, I could not help but think back on my "Job-like" times in my life.  I think back to when I was in 4th grade and I could not figure out why I was so stupid. I think about in high school when at cheerleading camp, four girls tried out to cheer at the Macy's Day parade and only three got it, I was the fourth girl. I think back to college, falling in love and planning a future with someone who in the end, told me I just wasn't good enough or godly enough for him and broke up with me...in an email.  I then think about being on church staff for the first time and being hit on by the minister that was supposed to be mentoring me.  I think about December 2004 when my family's world was rocked with the most heart wrenching, faith challenging time in our lives, when God chose to take Tucker home to be with Him.  Then most recently, I think about the year and half we struggled to concieve a child, the weeks on bed rest and the two months our precious baby being in the NICU.  Would I have chosen those paths?  Absolutely not!  Am I glad I took these paths?  Yes.

sweet ava, now 3

abbey, ava and adam

Yet, I am lucky. God has shown me a glimpse of His plan in allowing me to see why I had to go through these struggles. Because I had a learning disability in fourth grade, it made me a more patient and understanding teacher. As for the Macy's Day parade, that year New York had a record snow, on the day of the parade. brrrrrrrrrrr! Why did that guy I was so in love with not want me? Because God had already created and was preparing the most wonderful man in the world for me to marry and be the father of my child. (I love you Adam). Just recently, a friend of mine had a miscarraige and I was able to both sympathize and empathize with her. And just this past Thursday God gave me a glimpse of why I had to endure infertility: a lady in my Bible study has a daughter who is my age and is experiencing a similar situation as I did. Will we ever truly know why God gives us trials and tribulations? I don't know. What I do know is that "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked will I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord."

abbey

This week's guest writer is Abbey Cooler.  Abbey was a college acquaintance turned Senior year prayer partner.  Wife to Adam.  Mom to Ava and Baby "A."  Seminary grad.  Former Gardner-Webb cheerleader.  Sandi Patty wannabe.  (She can do a lot, but she CANNOT sing.)  Thanks for sharing, Abs!

#1

pastor max wilkins challenged the congregation at the family church in gainesville, fl to live "interruptible lives."  i had no idea what that would mean this many years later.  it is easier to leave margin in my day for a broken down car or a diaper blow out, but a blog?  really, Jesus?  write?

there are many reasons as to why i am just now writing, but they are interruptions.  and these women that will be joining me, the girls interrupted, they are here because of other road blocks or unplanned events.  interruptions.  the "God bless the broken road" effect.  

the timing of all this is crazy.  we have just bought our first house and it is in disarray, the kids are out of school and my plate feels so full.  this is where i am writing from:

this will be my office.  sooner rather than later, i hope.

and this is where i will read from.

so i will write.  and these amazing women will write.  and guests will write.  and hopefully, you will be blessed and intrigued and responsive.  even as i see those words i'm nervous.  this is a whole new level of vulnerability.  my hands are sweating as i finish this up.  insecurity is lurking.  anticipation is high.  expectations are low.  here we go...

jill